Updated: Sep 21, 2020
“Our thoughts don’t “attract” anything into our lives. We all have scary, fear-based, irrational thoughts we’ve been practicing for decades. Healing is not judging these thoughts and responding to them in new ways.” Dr. Nicole LePera
I came across this quote from holistic psychologist, Dr. Nicole Le Pera and it caused me to breath a deep sigh of relief for two reasons.
1.The very common teaching in the Self-Help world that says "our thoughts create our reality" can be very confusing and downright frustrating. In fact it can make you never want to think again!
2. This statement takes the pressure off of us. As humans, the reality is there will always be times when we experience thoughts that may not serve the highest version of ourselves and that's perfectly ok.
We don't have to control our thinking. We are all on our own individual journey thinking over 60,000 thoughts a day and 95% of those thoughts are ruminating in our subconscious which means we are hardly aware of the thoughts that are actually driving our choices.
It's time that we give ourselves some grace for being human.
It's time that we understand that all of our thoughts can serve us - even the "negative" ones.
It's time that we understand that none of our thoughts have any power over us at all - both the negative and the positive ones.
(I’m aware that those last two statements are contradicting each other and yet both are true.)
Our thoughts are just thoughts. They simply exist. As we become more and more conscious, they hold less and less power over our lives. We begin to see that we hold the power and here is how.....
We are the awareness behind each of our thoughts.
We have the ability to observe each of our thoughts without judging them as good or bad.
We have the ability to observe each of our thoughts without giving meaning or attaching emotions to them. If we find ourselves attaching emotions to them, we have the ability to be the observer of our emotions as well.
We have the ability to question our thoughts.
We have the ability to choose new meanings and new decisions in response to our thoughts.
Our power lies in our ability to bring more and more awareness to our thoughts. It’s not about getting rid of or judging a thought. It’s about fully accepting them without judgment. Radical acceptance is key because what we can’t be with won’t let us be!
The more awareness we can bring to our thoughts without judgement, the more free we become.
Some helpful questions to ask yourself are:
Am I aware that I am experiencing the thought or am I buying into the idea that the thought is who I am?
What is the meaning that I am giving to the thought? (Reminder: We are responsible for the meaning we give to the thoughts that we think and the feelings and experiences that we have.)
A "negative" thought is actually no different than a "positive" thought because as humans we all interpret thoughts differently.
For example, someone may have the thought "I am broke.” To some, this thought may cause some to feel powerless and to others, they might interpret this as an opportunity to create something new In their lives. It’s not the thought, It’s the meaning we get to create around it.
The truth is as long as we are human, we will always experience fear based, limited thoughts and we will all perceive them in our own unique ways. Taking responsibility for our own healing and having the willingness to become an observer of them with more curiosity and less judgement is where the miracle happens. Consider that there are no wrong thoughts. Our thoughts are here to awaken us, to help us rise in consciousness and to guide us to a more empowered state of being. Believe it or not, even our "negative" thoughts hold purpose in the grand scheme of things and they are a part of our journey. Honor them. Thank them for visiting and remember you hold the power in your hands when deciding how to view and respond to them.