Updated: Jun 13, 2020
I've felt different for as long as I could remember.
From a young age, I can remember having a lot of thoughts, ideas, some very big feelings and an even bigger voice. I was passionate, persistent and fearless when it came to my self-expression.
And then over time it all stopped. I stopped being me.
I bought into the lie that all of these parts of myself were unacceptable. I learned that it wasn’t always safe to be my true self and so I believed that it was easier to be invisible.
I stored these aspects of myself away so that I wouldn’t have to feel that sense of rejection again.
Swiss Psychologist, Carl Jung calls this our shadow. It's the parts of us that we shame and store away in our subconscious so we no longer have to be with them.
Spiritual teacher, Debbie Ford says "What we can't be with wont let us be.“ Boy is this the truth. And this is why we often land on the path of Spirituality and personal development.
We don't arrive on the path because we are broken. We don't arrive here because we need to fix anything about ourselves. We arrive here to return to the aspects of ourselves that we have denied and shamed. We arrive here so we can take back our full power, return to our wholeness and transform our fear into unwavering faith. We arrive here simply to remember who we've always been.
The truth is we need every part of ourselves to feel whole and complete and the only reason we might be carrying around the feeling of being different is because we've ignored parts of ourselves that are calling for our attention.
We bought into the belief that "It's not safe to be all of who we are."
Although this belief creates both internal and external challenges, it is also what ignites our desire to heal. So consider this, the belief may cause us to feel different, but feeling this discomfort is a necessary part of our journey in order for us to “wake up” and take back our power.
Spiritual Teacher, Eckart Tolle says, “For most people their spiritual teacher is their suffering. Because eventually their suffering brings about their awakening.”
Consider that your painful experiences were exactly what you needed so that you can return to your authentic self. And part of accepting your whole self is being completely comfortable with the aspects of you that make you feel the most different.
The truth is we are all different. It's just that those of us that don't feel different are simply invested in believing that they are supposed to fit it. They don’t take the time to question their own individual thoughts, ideas, beliefs, feelings and desires. Desires and dreams are unique to each and everyone of us and we don't discover our dreams and desires if we are busy meeting the expectations of what we were taught rather than what we have discovered for ourself.
If you resonate with this, know that you are doing it right. 😊 It is not an accident to feel this way. In fact, it is what opens us up to a path of continuous evolution and self understanding. Eventually we come to realize that the feeling of being different is a gift that continuously pulls us back towards our own individual truth. It's the very thing needed to reignite our internal fire that ultimately births a desire to go out in the world and make a difference in only a way that we were born to.
Know that you are not alone. It is in awakening to your own unique self that you begin to see that you not only belong, but you are needed more than ever to bring your truest self to the party of this thing called life.